Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
