you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
