now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
