if i can run in heels then i can drive
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
