if only i could text you this smell
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
