and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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