If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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