I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
