who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
