So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
