I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
