Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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