I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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