I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
