Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
