Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
