Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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