Dual....:-)
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I seem to have left my pride at pride
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
