uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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