Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
