She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
