i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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