Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
