shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's rum buckets o'clock
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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