she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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