I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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