Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
