my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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