Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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