MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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