We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
