so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
