My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
