tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
