i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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