Well apparently he's into motor boating.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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