Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
