Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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