Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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