there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize