No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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