Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
