Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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