he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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