yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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