Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
