Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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