I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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