she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
