I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
