"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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