let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
