Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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